When is a pig not a pig?

WARNING: may be offensive to vegetarians, pigs & pig-lovers.

Ever heard of acellular dermal matrix? No, me neither until July. ADM is a decellularised pig product, in my case pig intestine.   With my ‘no diet, no gym’ flat stomach dream lost in the ether the revelation that I had “insufficient droop” to undergo an immediate silicon reconstruction was another potential blow. I’d need a two-step expansion process – not my idea of fun… OR if I wasn’t adverse to pig-products I might be able to use ADM to support an immediate silicon implant.  Not fun either but better, in my view, than becoming a blow-up dolly!  Once again salvaging something positive from an uncertain situation I decided the insufficient droop comment was, in fact, a compliment. By 43 things do start heading south.

So what to do about ADM?  Two thoughts struck me:

1. I’m an animal lover and I don’t support animal exploitation. Somehow having our porcine friends live on in women who need reconstructive surgery seems more worthy than turning them into bacon sarnies. (OK, I confess, bacon sarnies taste nice too).

2. I’m not one for shortcuts but when it comes to medical procedures I’m happy to get them over and done with as quickly and simply as possible.

End of story? No, not quite. Right up to the time I went into theatre I had no idea what I’d wake up with – complete new breast, fried-egg expander or nothing on the right-side at all. Until M got to work she couldn’t assess how much room she’d have or how well the surgery would go.

So I went to sleep in my fetching faded mint-green hospital gown complete with super-sexy surgical stockings wondering if I’d wake up like San Francisco’s twin peaks or Japan’s Mount Fuji.

    

I’ve always liked San Francisco 🙂

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