Yesterday porridge and maple syrup. Today toast.
Why am I excited by a humble piece of toast? Because it smells as it should (many things don’t), it tastes delicious and it satisfies that empty but not sure what to eat feeling. The sensation called appetite is attempting to make a come-back. (It’s ok, you can come out, no-one is going to poison you this week). It’s reassuring to know my appetite hasn’t taken itself off on a round-the-world cruise, it’s just been hiding under a fall-out shelter waiting for chemo nuclear winter to subside. Today I thoroughly enjoyed toasted granary bread with the mandatory lashing of melted butter. Who’d have thought toast would make it onto a top ten favourite meals list? Forget caviar or truffles, granary toast is the nearest thing to heaven on earth and it gave me that nice warm-on-the-inside fuzzy feeling too 🙂
Now it’s 9 days since I last saw a hospital – far too long to be away from all things shiny, sharp and pointy – so I trudged off to see the oncologist this morning. Last time I saw him he was running two hours late. I suggested his waiting room was busier than God’s and maybe he should ask the other guy to lend a hand. I also asked if I could have a badge for good behaviour – I hadn’t drawn on the walls or thrown-up in the corner. It was tempting. I didn’t get a badge but I did get Emend, possibly the best thing a good chemo girl can be rewarded with. (Toast, anti-emetics, I’m easily pleased.)
Today was just a 45 minute wait and there were no sharp pointy things to contend with; always a bonus. My oncologist is a nice fellow, quiet, studious maybe a little on the shy side. We discussed drug regimes, side effects and quality of life. I told him unless I could swing from the chandeliers at 3pm every day, twice on Sundays, I’d have to give quality of life B minus, more effort required It made him laugh. So my new mission is to find a way to make the oncologist laugh whenever I see him – he has a difficult job and I’m not sure I could do it. The very good news from today is that we have further potential to tinker with my drugs regimes so next time might be a little less taxing. Did I say tinker? I meant fine tune in a controlled and highly scientific fashion. Anyway, I live in hope and in the meantime I’m going to make the most of appetite’s reawakening 🙂