My nose was one of the few parts of my body I thought might be described as “cute.” The rest of me doesn’t fit comfortably with that description, far to many long bones with angular joints. Think tree frog, lemur (without hair of course) or if I’m having a really bad day, preying mantis.
Neither too big nor too small, straight and only very slightly upturned at the end, as noses go I think it’s quite a neat looking specimen and functionally until around ten days go it worked just fine too.
Now I fear I may be morphing into Rudolphine, lesser-known sister of Rudolph the very famous red-nosed reindeer. I believe the glow of my rosy nose is due to a new phenomenon I’ve decided to call chemo-luminescence.
Like bioluminescence, chemo-luminescence is caused by chemicals but they aren’t the ones most glowing animals carry around inside their bodies. Mine are derived from taxotere and herceptin. Unlike bioluminescence, chemo-luminescence has some other effects including, but not limited to:
♦ Symptoms akin to a very heavy cold, e.g. uncontrollable and randomly alternating blocked/runny nose.
♦ Permanent nose bleeds. Not CSI material but all day, every day a slow trickle nose bleed.
♦ Sneezing fits, lasting from a few seconds to a few minutes.
♦ Crusty nose. Yes it is as horrible as it sounds. Most mornings rosy nosey is encrusted with dried blood. Coupled with unearthly pallor it helps create a very effective impression of a greedy vampire with an inhalation habit.
♦ Watering eyes. A greedy vampire with an inhalation habit and a heavy cold who is quietly crying all the time. So very attractive.
Even if I resemble him, I don’t think I want to turn into Nosferatu. I’m too fond of seeing the sun shine. Being a magical flying reindeer might be fun but Santa won’t hire me 😦 The trickling would give away the location of his secret North Pole workshops!
- You: Glowing protein raises cancer hopes (japantimes.co.jp)
- Christmas Trees Given Jellyfish Genes Could Produce Their Own Light (treehugger.com)