Recently the FBG (http://feistybluegeckofightsback.wordpress.com) travelled to Borneo. While doing so she shared a post about three words to shape her year, a practice she’s been undertaking for several years now. I pondered on this approach and wondered what three words might apply to my past and present years, and what those words might teach me about myself, my aims and hopes for the future.
I own a butterfly mind that resides in the middle a walrus colony. There are many interesting thoughts and ideas but insufficient space (or time) between them to give each the attention it deserves. Reflecting for a moment on why that is throws up my first three words – curiosity, overburdened and driven. Unsurprisingly there are patterns and links between all three. I like being curious and reasonably driven because that’s the way I learn and keep growing (instead of slipping into a state of mental hibernation). I’m not so comfortable with overburdened as it eventually quashes the other two.
Better choices are curiosity, capacity and pace. Life is, after all, a marathon not a sprint. I’m a useless sprinter!
There are some stand out years in my life for good and not so good reasons. In 1993 the three words were overjoyed, nurturing and amazed. In 1996, overwrought, shocked and escape. 1998 warranted exciting, connected and faith whilst 2008 was ecstatic, proud and supportive. On balance there’s more to be glad for than not over the past forty-odd years, until the most recently.
No matter which way I look at it, however much I try to stand it on its head, take a different perspective or weigh the pros and cons, I am not glad about HER2 positive breast cancer. I’m glad I acted quickly, took decisive and extensive action and am still here but I’m not at all glad about the thing itself. 2012 was the year of chaos, stark and pigheaded. Pigheadedness coupled with a good medical team and wonderful support from family, close friends and new friends from WordPress kept me in this world instead of contemplating the next.
2013 should and could have been an improvement and in many ways it was, but it was also tainted by the fall-out of cancer. 2013 was a tale of two cities – “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us.” Its taken a while to find just three words for 2013 (without the use of expletives) however those that fit best are distraught, dissociation and determined. The year is over and although there were some positive elements, it is not one I am sorry to see the back of.
So what of 2014, this new year freshly begun and hopefully holding much goodness in store? It did not get off to the best of starts for reasons I shall not enter into here, suffice to say an early morning phone call creating havoc and requiring an immediate solution was not something I’d hoped for. The fact that I was 80 miles from the epicentre did not help. Fortunately resolution occurred and no lasting harm befell anyone, though the events themselves remain puzzling. My capacity to deal with emergency situations involving those near to me is not as robust as it once was, especially if I’m some distance away. I can think of no good reason for this other than an increased sense of the fragility of life. So the first of 2014’s words is amity – love, friendship and kindliness given freely to those who are dear to me because nothing else is as important. The second is moderation. I can no longer burn the candle at both ends, my time on earth already hit one big bump in the road and I don’t want to invite others. My third word for 2014 is repose. Now more than any time previously I feel the need for regeneration and respite, quiet contemplation and time for recreation.
There are no certainties in life (except death and taxes) but I sense these words will set me in good stead for the rest of 2014. Amity, moderation and repose with, of course, thanks to Feisty Blue Gecko for equipping me with such a helpful philosophy 🙂