Written in the stars?

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Constellation: Leo

I confess I don’t believe in horoscopes but every now and then something comes up that might just hold a smidgen of accuracy. Today my horoscope says: “This week you are reconstructing something that was once deliberately dismantled. It will be a positive process.”

Prophylactic mastectomy could easily be classified as something being deliberately dismantled. In this case a left breast. Immediate reconstruction with ADM plus an implant is reconstruction (of said left breast removed and reconstructed on Wednesday afternoon). This week’s horoscope begins to sound quite plausible. “It will be a positive process.”  That’s such an open-ended statement. Does ‘it’ relate to the dismantling, reconstructing, both or something else entirely – there are a host of physical and psychological processes going on right now but are they positive processes?

After giving this a lot of thought the only conclusion I can draw is yes.

This surgery had the potential to resurrect so much that was difficult, painful and confusing, negative even. Being diagnosed with cancer isn’t a positive life event; my previous surgery was cancer surgery and it caused significant disruption in my life and the lives of my loved ones.  We are still recovering from some of those problems. This time around the procedure was broadly the same but the reasons are different. The next steps won’t (with luck) involve any further treatment.

I can’t change what’s written in the stars, or more precisely, in my genetic code but limiting its potential impact is another story.  Taking action is a hugely positive process. It is not without cost but what value do you place on the chance to live beyond 50 years of age, to see your child grow up, meet your grandchildren, enjoy your retirement?

Women with two or more close relatives who develop breast cancer at an early age fall into the high-risk category. Those who’ve already experienced the disease face an increased risk of another encounter. I tick both of those boxes and my first encounter was aggressive and high grade. Very recent research indicates the risk for women with long histories of familial breast cancer may be as much as 1 in 3 rather than the typical 1 in 8. I tick that box too. For people like me undergoing prophylactic surgery may reduce the risk by as much as 90%. Of course it’s important to remain vigilant because risk-reducing surgery isn’t a panacea, it doesn’t make cancer an impossibility in the same way wearing a seatbelt doesn’t make everyone survive serious car accidents.

In life there are no guarantees – never were – we just kid ourselves that we’re invincible. However the benefits of this process, of dismantling and reconstructing, aren’t just physical. For me some of the most positive aspects are psychological. No more annual mammograms that leave me fretting over the reliability of results. No more second guessing self-exams that might or might not have uncovered another anomaly. No more thinking of my own flesh as a time bomb waiting to go off (again).

For more than twenty years I lived with a question that I was never able to answer to my own satisfaction. The question: “Have I done enough to reduce my risk of cancer?”

For the first time in a long time I am able to answer fully and frankly: “Yes. There is nothing more I or anyone else can do.”

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