About FEC-THis

Hello,

Welcome to my little world of thoughts, experiences, hopes, fears, dreams, obsessions…. you name it, it will probably turn up here somewhere.  I’m a married mother of one and career woman who, like far too many other women, received a breast cancer diagnosis in June 2012. FEC-TH is the name of my treatment; it wasn’t easy.

Breast cancer is an emotional disease as well as a formidable adversary. It hits women* at the core of their femininity and respects no boundaries. It makes no allowances for class, colour or culture and it doesn’t care what kind of life you’ve lived so far. It leaves young women childless, orphans children, decimates families and separates lovers in the prime of their relationships leaving them empty and alone.

It also brings out all that’s best (and sadly sometimes worst – let’s not dwell there) in people. True friends shine brighter than the brightest stars, strangers offer heart-touching acts of kindness and compassion, family members become champions, advocates and good counsel.  As for women with breast cancer, well, they’re likely to be some of the most courageous, determined, humorous, supportive, humble and  hard-as-nails-kick-ass people you’re ever going to meet.  You see, women with this disease don’t give in, they don’t give up and they don’t lose their grace or dignity.

Thankfully, amazing medical advances over the last 10 years mean many breast cancers can be successfully treated when diagnosed early enough. But breast cancer is a complex disease and some sub-types e.g. triple negative and my own personal brand HER2 positive are far more difficult to deal with.  These breast cancers have much lower success rates than we hear about through the Media, they tend to strike younger women and often prove to be far more aggressive. They call for more aggressive treatment regimes which can be difficult to deal with and often involve life-changing consequences.

Breast cancer tries very hard to replace any thoughts of fun and the future with fear and chaos…. until you get to grips with it.  This blog is all about getting to grips with it. Seeing another side of the situations I encounter as a means to combat the darkness dealing with the disease inevitably brings, even for those with a naturally sunny disposition.   Love it or hate it, laugh or cry, this is my experience so here you’ll find I say it as it is.

* Breast cancer is not an exclusively female disease. It affects men too. They’re often overlooked because their plight is not as well publicised. Spare them a thought.

I selected this post to be featured on my blog’s page at Breast Cancer Blogs.

56 thoughts on “About FEC-THis

  1. You’ve gone quiet so just wanted to touch base and see if you are ok? Been to see consultant about reconstruction and it made me think of you.

    Hope life is being kinder to you.

    Vanessa xx

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    • Hello Vanessa,

      Hope all is going well for you, it sounds like you’re moving forward which is good. Life has been a bit if a blur for me, lots of ups and downs including a couple of health scares that were fortunately just scares. The downs have taken a lot of energy though. I should really get back into writing again. Thank you for thinking of me 🙂 Xoxo

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      • Hi Tracy, At least I am pleased to hear that the health scares were just that, and yes you should get back into writing you’re good at it! I have found your blog the one that has helped me most, and for that I am really grateful. Life seems to sometimes go in cycles, of good and bad. As a family we have been through some hard times recently, and maybe like you it feels that the run of bad should end soon! Mum now is in hospital having a distal femur fracture, and has been there 15 weeks, still not able to weight bear, but we are hopeful to have her home in a few weeks with some home care, so I probably will put off the reconstruction for a while. Reconstruction is one of those things you want, but don’t want, but I am sure you know that feeling! I wanted to touch base so you know that someone out here was thinking of you and cared enough to check up on you! Take Care and get writing!! xxx

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  2. Thanks for your following my blog for a long time 🙂

    I moved my blog the other day.
    I’ll keep my old blog until the end of this year and then will close.
    Every my posts at http://raipohangaround.wordpress.com/ were already copied to my new blog.
    So, I’m afraid you follow my new blog if you continuous follow from now on.

    My new blog address is
    http://www.ryoko-traveler.com/

    If this comment is inconvenient for you on your post, please delete it. I just don’t know how contact to you anything else.

    Thank you.
    Ryoko.

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  3. Came to your blog after you kindly followed mine. Courage and strength are definitely two words I would use in describing what I have seen of you so far! Heart-wrenching story, but I’m sure you are finding it therapeutic to write and share – as I am. Following. X

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    • I came to your blog through another breast cancer blogger. I have been very moved by your posts but couldn’t find any words to help with the loss you have been forced to face. I wish whole-heartedly that I could alleviate some of your pain. I lost my mother to this disease when I was in my early 20’s and she was in her early 40’s – it’s a different kind of relationship but I still miss her terribly and understand the hollowness that’s left behind. I hope your writing continues to help, in doing so you also help many others and that it a very gracious thing to do. Xoxox

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  4. Thank you for spending some of your valuable time on my poetry site today. I can always tell who actually reads my work and who simply clicks like and moves on. You are authentic. And I love your siete. I wrote a poem about surviving cancer and one about not surviving…and I will share both with you so that a) you are encouraged and b) you see your own courage in the face of this terrible disease. I’ll keep you in my thoughts;

    http://dlmchale.com/2011/12/28/toris-song/

    http://dlmchale.com/2011/12/23/an-infinite-pain-2/

    With love and respect, Dennis

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    • Thank you Dennis. I enjoy your writing very much, you have a unique style and your poems aren’t just words; the emotions and sentiments surge through every time. It takes a very good writer to appeal to the senses in the way you do and I’m glad to have found your blog. I signed up for an email digest – I read then do the ‘liking.’ Sometimes the internet connection here is slow, non-existent or only available via mobile which can be a little tricky. Email at least allows me to read and enjoy even if the connection is less than perfect! I read both of the poems above, I readily identify with both. So far I am surviving but my Mum was not so lucky, she died when she was just a couple of years older than I am now. The pain never leaves.

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      • Tracy, I am so sorry the hear that you lost your Mom to cancer. I did, too…small cell cancer…six years ago. She was fine in November, diagnosed in December, and dead in April. I miss her terribly, as I know you do your Mom. My writing on cancer is my railing back at the heavens…so to speak.
        As I mentioned, you have my permission to reblog anything on my site on your site. I don’t offer that to many, but your site is such a collaborative one and so beautiful.
        Stay in touch.
        Dennis

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        • I’m sorry about your Mom too, life is so fragile and it seems we only come to realise that when we’re a bit older and maybe a little bit wiser too. I like your railing back at the heavens and one day I hope justice will be served, for our Mom’s and for all the other people who’ve had their lives shortened by this vile disease. Thank you for the permission to reblog, I feel truly honoured. Your friend overseas, Tracy

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  5. Pingback: The Very Inspiring Blogger Award | Looking for reasoning to a complicated world

    • Hi Seeker, thank you so much for the award! I have limited connectivity at the moment so will accept the award properly once I’ve got full access again. Thank you, I really appreciate it.

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  6. As a double mastectomy cancer survivor, I can totally relate to your words. And strange as it may seem, I’m grateful to all the women before I was diagnosed, because that made my own journey bearable because without them, we wouldn’t have all things in place. Nice blog, and I’ll definitely be back! 🙂

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    • Thank you for stopping by, it’s always great to meet people who have found light T the end of this particular tunnel. It’s strange how something as awful as cancer and mastectomy can unite us but that’s what it does. I’m glad I agreed to take part in research even if it doesn’t help me directly because I’m sure it will help others in future and I remain optimistic that some day there will be a way to prevent this disease before it can take hold.

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  7. Pingback: La Deuxième Partie (Part Two) – Breaking the Rules | theseeker

  8. Hey Tracy,
    Had a read here the moment I followed but didn’t happen to drop the warmest of my words for you from the core of my heart wrapped in my love. A very dear friend of mine had the same diagnosis and with all the courage she fought and won the battle. I see that strength and determination in you too, my lovely mate. I told her about you and she has sent a plethora of warming wishes, a bundle of love and prayers for you and most of her strength in the form of her warming wishes so that you can stay strong and in fact stronger.
    So here this lil friend of yours is giving the warmest and tightest hug to give you strength along with my sincere say, true love and honest wishes and above all a lot of prayers. 🙂
    You are such an inspiration. Please accept my warmest regards. ❤
    God Bless You !

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    • Thank you so much for such a warm and kind message Hira. I am so pleased your friend has won the battle, it is very encouraging to hear of people beating this disease and enjoying their lives again. Please pass my thanks and best wishes to your friend too, an inspiration for us all. Thank you for your kindness and support, it is the most precious gift anyone can ever give. With love and good wishes always.

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  9. Pingback: Facing a Force 12 Storm Head-On in 2012 | Posts of Hypnotic Suggestion

    • Hi Aadi, welcome and thank you for coming here, following me and my somewhat disjointed life, thoughts and events. I enjoy your blog and look forward to sharing many future posts over the ether. Wishing you a wonderful 2013, with big hugs and much happiness always 🙂

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  10. Hi Tracy congratulations for the award.

    Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to you & your family,

    God bless you my lovely friend. I love you and if you nedd any help pls revert back to me

    Like

    • Thank you Ajaytao. I’m pleased we met through the wonder of the internet, you’re an inspiration. I look at your blog each day and find peace, hope and happiness there. You’re an amazing gift to me, I so appreciate your love and friendship and I offer you my love and friendship for all of our days.

      May 2013 be healthy, happy and peaceful for you and all who are dear to you.

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      • You don’t know how beautiful you are, how wonderful, How amazing a lady, a mother, a compassionate human being.

        I showed your picture to my mom and told everything about you, she started crying & told me to give her blessing to you, your son & your family.

        I have not married and my mother at 83yrs is so much worried about me that she gets sick even if I wake up late, but after looking at your pic & hearing everything about you she told me, why I cant be worried about every child on earth who is sick.

        If you would have been here I would hugged you a thousand times. I love you my most dear friend, your face is so compassionate.

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    • Nice to meet you too Elizabeth and thanks for following me. I’m sorry you share HER2, it’s not the most welcome of genetic anomalies in this crazy world of breast cancer. I’m looking forward to reading more of your experiences too – a problem shared is a problem halved so here I am to halve it for you any way I can 🙂

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  11. Tracy
    Thanks for the follow. I love your blog and your sense of humor. All this absurdity. You’re reminding me too, that i need to get back and write more. I think my brain is starting to look like a shriveled walnut.

    The whole time i was going through chemo and rads, writing really helped me clear my thoughts, and it gave me a chance to laugh at myself too.

    Like you, i have a family history. My mom died nearly 22 years ago from this crap, as did one of her sisters. Not sure about grandmothers and beyond.

    Anyway, i wish you all the best, and look forward to reading more.

    Elaine

    Like

    • Hi Elaine, thank you, I’ve been inspired by your blog too. My sense of humour is, I think, my best weapon in this whole breast cancer battle. It might be dark humour from time to time but it still beats spending too may days in tears. I’m so sorry about your Mom and her sister, there’s still too much we dont understand about this disease and I’m increasingly of the mind that fewer of us are pure coincidences than science assumed thus far. I wish you happy, humorous days ahead and a reinvigorated walnut through your future writing. Tracy.

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  12. Tracy I love the way u expressed your feelings about your breast cancer & your fight with it.
    Nice to come to your blog because I learnt quite a few interesting things from your blog.

    Don’t worry Tracy. I m also in your same boat, I was a cancer patient too like you.
    ( I had Hodgkins Lymphoma) in 2009. Can I tell u something please visit my blog & read about me
    you will get some more ideas about cancer. Then if u feel so please revert back to me. we can discuss much more

    Ajaytao2010@wordpress.com

    Like

    • Thank you Ajaytao, I read that you are an introvert and then after your diagnosis you are opening up to the world through your blog (which is an inspiring blog). I have never written a blog before and tended to keep my thoughts to myself or people who are very close to me. Now I’m the 5th generation of women to have to fight breast cancer in my family I decided to write things down. It help me align my thoughts, I hope in some ways it may help others and if I do not win the fight (because there are no guarantees) the people in my life will know that I love them very much and always intended to stay around as long as possible. I intend to win the fight but whatever happens I will always be around in some shape or form.

      Please stay in touch, Tracy

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  13. Tracy, thank you for visiting my blog. I am so sorry to read of your diagnosis; my thoughts are with you. I travelled the road with my mother and dearest friend, both of whom beat the disease. I wish the same for you.

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    • I visit often, you have a lovely blog. I’m so pleased to hear about your mother and your friend, it helps enormously for people like me who are still on that long road to recovery.

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  14. I wish you all the best and I will remember you in my prayers. Hugs. thank you for visiting my blog and liking my post. Renee 🙂

    Like

  15. I wish you the very best in your treatment and recovering. I have been blogging about my own experience since late May when I was first diagnosed. It helps me a great deal and I hope you have a similarly therapeutic experience. And thanks for following my blog. It brought me to yours, which I will be following. Take care.-Elizabeth

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    • Thanks Elizabeth. I was diagnosed June (found the suspect in May). I find the blog very helpful, if nothing else it is somewhere I can “stick” all the things that go on in my head! I enjoyed reading your blog today and look forward to your future posts 🙂 Sending you endless support for the journey ahead. Tracy

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    • Thank you for reading my blog, I appreciate it so much. I’m sorry we’re meeting this way, through our dysfunctional bodies. It’s not the way I thought I’d get to know people all around the world. I read your blog and will keep reading. We’re in a club no-one aims to join but those who do are remarkable people. We stand together, always, our beauty never fades.

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  16. I look forward to reading more of your articles and posts in the future, so I’ve bookmarked your blog. When I see good quality content, I like to share it with others. So I’ve created a backlink to your site. Thank you!…

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